


No Friggen Cats

by MissBayliss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Has Allergies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 08:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16425833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBayliss/pseuds/MissBayliss
Summary: Dean has one rule with hunts.





	No Friggen Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: It's the middle of the night and the boys have just finished a hunt. They don't have a motel room in town, as they hadn't planned on staying. In fact, they don't know the town well at all... a fact that is made obvious as they drive through the whole town, block by block, looking for a 24-hour laundromat. During the hunt, both characters got COVERED in something that is stuck to every inch of their clothes and it's making one (or both) of them sneeze. They absolutely MUST get these clothes cleaned. But they can't find a laundromat. Can't even find a motel. Hell, at this point, they'd settle for a fountain in a town square they could dunk their shirts in.

“Turn down here,” Sam said, hopefully.

“Do you know where we’re going, Sam?” Dean asked, annoyed.

“No, but I thought I saw…”

“What’s the friggen map say?”

“Uh, my phone died, I’m just going on a hunch here.”

Dean glared at Sam.

“Are you kidding?”

Sam tried for a reassuring smile. 

Dean scrubbed his nose with his arm, sniffing, then he grimaced, “Ah, God. That made it worse.”

“Dean, don’t touch your face.”

“Yes, thank you, genius.”

“Dean… I’m –“

“Don’t,” Dean snapped, “Don’t say it.”

Sam cleared his throat and looked out the window, trying to see any kind of neon vacancy sign. 

“It’s in my _car_ , Sam.”

Sam winced, looking guiltily into the fiercely windy night.

Dean coughed, keeping both hands on the wheel, turning down yet another street.

“I know.”

“I have one rule about hunts, Sammy. _One_ rule.”

“No cats?” 

“No friggen cats!” Dean shouted over the top of him.

“I thought the shelter had closed down, Dean!” Sam whined, defending himself, “How was I supposed to know the cats had stayed around?”

Dean growled low in his throat, “God, I’m so itchy.”

“Sorry.”

Dean turned into another street.

“Didn’t we just come down here? Are we going in circles?” 

Sam tried to keep his brother calm but his mood was worsening as his level of discomfort rose. He was having a particularly long break between sneezing fits, which they were both grateful for, but whether or not it meant a big one was coming was another issue. 

“There had to be a motel as we came into town. Maybe we should just head in that direction,” Sam suggested. 

Dean sniffed and moaned, “There’s no- _hh_ \- no motels. If we’d passed one… I woulda- _huhh-_ woulda stopped. _Hit’ **SCHewW**!_ ” 

“Bless you.”

Dean coughed again. 

Sam looked down at himself. His jacket, his button down, his jeans, even his socks, were _covered_ in cat hair. He could see strands of it on the seat between him and his brother. Dean was worse. The spirit had thrown him through the glass into the room where the cats were sleeping apparently. He’d not only come out, covered head to toe in cat hair, but his hands and even his neck had been clawed viciously. Dean sneezed just being near a cat… but _this._ This was a whole new level. 

_“Heh’S **SCSHUT**! HE **TPSCHXT**!”_

“Dean, man. You gotta let me drive.”

Dean went to rub his nose with his arm again but realized halfway through and thought better of it, his arm hovering near his face, cat hair drifting through the air. 

“Shut up.”

Sam sighed, “What if we find a Laundromat? At least then we can get these clothes off.”

“This town doesn’t even have a motel. What makes you think they’ll have a Laundromat?”

“Well we have to do something, man. You can’t stay like this.”

Dean’s face went lax, chin tilting up in the air, eyes unfocused, “ _Hhh’ **EXCHTSUEW** uh!_” he sneezed towards his lap, car swerving a little.

“Dean…”

“If you ask to drive,” Dean sniffed hard and cleared his throat, “one more time…”

“You’re going to crash the car, man! I’m only looking out for your precious baby.”

Dean swallowed, staring out into the night, turning another corner.

“I think this is the main street again,” Dean ignored Sam.

“Keep an eye out for a Laundromat.”

“You keep an eye out. I’m kinda busy,” Dean wrinkled his nose.

They drove through the street in silence, the only sound Dean’s labored breathing. 

Soon the shops along the street became houses, suburbia, and they knew they were pretty much screwed. 

“Dean, you’ve never had asthma before, have you?”

Dean glanced at Sam with an annoyed expression, “You ever see me have asthma before?”

“No, but… you’ve never –“

“Gotten cat all up in my business? No, I haven’t. This is a first for me.”

“It’s just… I can hear you breathing.”

“Sorry to disturb you. I’ll try to breathe more quietly,” Dean snapped, sarcastically. 

“Dean, come on.”

Dean brought the car to a lurching stop in the middle of the street. He curled his hands around his face. Shoulders rounded in and hitching, his back expanding rapidly as he gasped ever quickening, deepening breaths.

“ _Huh’ **CHXTTUh**! Heh’ **TSSCHT**! Heh’hh’HU’ **SCCHTTXTEW** w! Uh… hek’ **SCPHTU** EhH! God… Sa-uh-_Sam… _Heh’ **TTSCHT**! **CHSSHT**!_ ” 

Sam’s hand was on Dean’s hunched shoulder, “Bless you… you okay?”

Dean sniffled into his hands, still curled forward, “Do I look okay to you?” he said, voice raspy.

Sam pulled the collar of Dean’s coat back and checked the scratches on his neck. He hissed, “God, Dean. We have to clean these wounds.”

“ _Heh’ **TSCHT**! Urrrrghhh_ ,” Dean growled. He wiped his hand down the front of his pants. “I want to scratch my face off.”

Sam frowned as Dean started driving slowly again, and then he had an idea.

“Hey, there’s gotta be a school around here, right?”

Dean wiggled his nose furiously, then cast bloodshot, vacant eyes towards Sam, “A school?”

“Yeah, we could break in and use the showers. Even if we can’t get past the security system they’d surely have a swimming pool. We could wash off in there, and rinse our clothes out.”

Dean blinked, “This has to be the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.”

Sam shrugged, “You got a better idea?”

Dean took a moment, and then sighed stuffily, “I can’t even think right now.”

“Alright,” Sam said, surely, “Then we go with my idea.”

~

“ _Huh’ **KSXTCHU** uh!_”

“Dean…”

“Whad?”

“Maybe you should try and be a bit more quiet.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, “Involuntary, Sam…”

“I know, just… we’re kind of trespassing here.”

“ _Hhh’ **KXCHT**!_ ” Dean hunched into his elbow, getting more cat hair on his face. “Whad kind of school doesn’t have a locker room?” Dean coughed lightly.

“A tiny school in the middle of nowhere. Let’s be thankful there’s a pool.”

The pool was outdoors, leaves rustled as the wind ripped through the trees, icy cold.  

“ _Heh’ **CHHHXT**!_ _God,_ Sam, it’s freezing.”

“We’re just gonna have to deal with it. Hurry up and get your clothes off.”

“I better not ever hear you say _that_ again,” Dean groaned, pulling off his jacket. 

Sam and Dean stripped down to their boxers and threw their clothes in the water. They had their duffle by the edge of the pool with a change of clothes for them. All their laundry was dirty, some filthy, and Dean’s shirt was covered in blood, half of which wasn’t even his, but it was better than clothes covered in cat fur. Who would have thought?

Sam jumped in first. Dean was taking his time, pausing intermittently to sneeze and cough, and Sam hoped if he lead, Dean would follow. 

Sam couldn’t help but gasp as he came out of the water. It was bitterly cold. His body began shivering instantly.

Dean was bent at the waist, sneezing into his hand, other hand braced against his knee to keep him upright. He snuffled and stood, “It’s freezing, isn’t it?” 

Sam shivered hard, arms wrapped around his upper body, “N-no.”

Dean sighed through the congestion and muttered, “Let’s get this over with.”

The water washed over Sam’s head as Dean jumped in next to him. 

“Son of a bitch,” Dean muttered through clenched teeth. He put his head under and scrubbed his hands through his hair. When Dean came up a second time he coughed into his fist.

“Ya’lright?” Sam asked, rubbing his arms and shoulders.

“N-no, _Suh’_ Sam… _huh’ **TSCHUW** w! _Ndot alright… _hh’ **EXCKSHU** hh!_” 

“You having trouble breathing?”

“I’m sneezing every five seconds. Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing.”

“You know what I mean, Dean. If your chest starts feeling tight or something you gotta tell me.”

“Why?”

“So we can get to a hospital,” Sam said, matter-of-factly, grabbing his clothes and shaking them off under the water.

“Stop over reacting,” Dean whined, and then proceeded to cough up a lung into his closed fist.

“Show me your hand,” Sam said, reaching for him.

“Oh, yeah,” Dean held them out, “Lovely, right?”

Dean’s hands were swelling up where the claw marks were. They looked red and angry. 

“Dude, we need to get you some medicine and ointment for that. Show me your neck.”

“Hang on,” Dean huffed, twisting away, “ _Huh’ **TTSICHXT**! Heh’ **KKSCHTT**! Hh’ **CHXTT**!” _

Dean’s convulsing sent waves through the water and Sam cringed in sympathy.

“Done?” 

Dean sniffed into his hands, still turned away, “ _Huh’K **SSSCHTTUH** uhh!_ * _snifff*_ Okay… now I’m done.”

“Alright, let me see,” Sam tilted Dean’s neck towards the light and Dean craned his head away so Sammy could get a better look. Sam hissed, running his fingers over the welts, “This is pretty bad, Dean. Does it itch?”

“God, yes,” Dean pulled away and started scratching.

“Stop it!” Sam batted his hand, “You’ll make it worse.”

Dean sniffed thickly, “I hate this.”

~

Sam wiped down the impala’s seats with one of their old t-shirts, trying in vain to get rid of all the cat hair from the car, which was hard without a vacuum. Dean was sitting on a park bench, blanket wrapped around his shoulders, shivering and sneezing into a balled up diner napkin. He looked beyond exhausted at this point and was having a hard time pretending he was anything but. 

Sam threw the shirt in the nearby trashcan and turned to Dean.

“I think that’s as good as it’s going to get.”

Dean stifled a sneeze into the blanket and sniffed hard, “Where we gonna go now?” he croaked.

“I guess we just head off in a direction and drive until we find a motel, more importantly a pharmacy.”

Dean got up and coughed again, pressing the blanket to his mouth to muffle the sound. 

“That cough getting any better?”

“Not yet.”

“You finally gonna let me drive?” Sam said as Dean hunkered down into his elbow and sneezed a few more violent sneezes.

Dean pulled another napkin out of his pocket and tiredly blew his nose, giving a slight nod.

“Yeah, Sammy, you can drive.”

“Dean… I’m sorry we –“

“Nah, it’s alright, Sam. Forget it,” Dean said, small smile on his lips, tossing the keys to Sam. 

The boys got in the car and Sam started her up.

“ _Huh’ **KSCHXT**!_ ”

“Bless you. I’d say try and get some sleep but, uh, that’s probably not gonna happen.”

“ _Hhh’ **EKCHSC** HUEww!_ Dude… just drive.”

Sam smiled as Dean leaned forward and turned the radio on. 

“Bless you, by the way.”

Dean groaned, curling up against the door, “Shut up.”

 

_End._


End file.
